angry at u

this is just another illustration of the epitome of emotions i am experiencing right now,was watching a show on t.v where it was a children's episode and a child cudn answer a question and started crying explicitly and that is wen this thought came across my mind---this child cudn answer a "googly"(as in their terms) and bursted out and in life the dimesions of these "googlies" just keep increasing and u just cant keep track of how many such situations u encounter and then u do wat? cry ,inadvertently in most cases bt since we r grown -ups now so it just bcomes implicit but we surely cry in our minds,in our hearts and try to lock ourselves in the bathroom and wail out,but finally u hav to cope up with the situation either by the aid of a chocolate or self consolence.move on with life ,forget the past,recollect memories wen u r down and continue creating similar 'memorably detestable' situations.the big question is ....Are we solely responsible for creating such situations.?
the answer i find to the above is a NO and that is exemplified by my current facebook religious view status change which has become from agnostic to athiest though i am completely a pure hearted believer and i turn to him at times of trouble,happiness,wants,needs,disappontments (though the expression changes).i feel everything is destined,every god damn thing..this appeared to me more evidently wen i failed to give a satisfactory performance in an event which had taken my night's sleep away and made me work like never before,yet the moral "hardwork is the key to success" just didnt materialize for me,it remained a morale..as i am in a daily conversation with a person who has a lot of views(all against mine) regarding these issues ,i find myself discovering new reasons everyday on how god is trying to screw my life and how only rich are helped,how god chose siddharth maliya,how there is only one shahrukh khan,how ambani has 15 swimming pools in his house and i have none...more personally,how my relatives always end up doing better than me,how my mom is not cool with dat,how i dont have a richer boyfriend than my friends and many more personal grieviances.
today i had become furious,just after quoting on fb that nothin else cud go wrong in my awfully wronged life,the creator, who i am sure might have access to fb now(well done zuckerburg) planned to send away this conversational buddy,this 'making plan together to get into a good management college' ,this completely morale philsopher and the only best friend in my life to a different state.i rushed into our home's private god's chamber but then i just couldn blame him/her..it was as if he/she just pacified that all is done for well..this heart still cries for i am going to lose a rabbit buying partner bt I BELIEVE IN GOD and it just might turn into gold,u never know...so basically dont go by my fb status,i am not an atheist ,i am just trying to show god that i am angry at him/her .. :x

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