FEAR AND ETC..

after a month long hospital experiences..visualising the hard reality,the invoking fear.. its been another month..things have changed..i have forgotten my real crush but yet he always comes by in my dreams,now i have a huge 'celebrity' crush on Ian Somerhalder but only that i dont get to c him at all which makes removal of the first crush from my mind a little difficult...and well the new addiction for vampires and the creed for them to exist in the real world has become highly overrated..listening to really good music and the effort to understand people around me,giving them chances,fighting a lot and making up still continues and definitely bitching too is still my preferance at leisure times.(well all girls bitch)..lately finding solace in the utterly juvenile yet innocent south east teleseries is my addition in this otherwise dull life of mine..
still something that scares me ...death,disease,weakness...hearing my mom out everyday and the pain she is suffering hurts me too much..i feel i wud do anything to take her pains away..i have never been scared this much(not even wen several ppl reported seeing fictitious characters in my next abandoned house) but on the day wen she was operated...i am still scared ..she is getting better but its not her ..its the general idea of loosing something..i have this weird dreams of losing something very important to me..it makes me wake up and i pray to god.."plss god keep things the same way for me "...i had always been this nagging kind always wishing for favours,for extraordinary achievements,of extreme happiness but now i wish for peace,for the things to not change at all..it doesnt matter whether i am happy,it dooesnt matter for ppl to be satisfied but they dont deserve to loose anyone,they dont deserve dying underage,they dont deserve to get cheated by the only power they pray to everyday..to live is the only happiness..excess doesnt mean anything..family,love,smiles are wat just matters..i, who loves to the fantasy world more than the real one,who would do anything to enter the castle of Spain and reside there on a permanent basis,who would get unrealistic and immature enough to still keep those eyes shut and live the dream...i am scared to dream coz its not very rare that i would wake up in a shock and perform superstitions to take away my dream...
p.s::to god,please try to set a general age limit for the heart to stop ..like after 80..people dont deserve to just get born and not get old...dont snatch smiles....try it and i can assure you that it will make ur mail request list smaller..

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 7, 2010 at 12:21 PM

    GOD will alwaz keep us(humanity) safe...alwaz trust n hav faith on him..n dnt worry ur near ones will even cross da 80 hardle...

    ReplyDelete

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